3 years ago

Theres no way to eat pizza gracefully. You cant really eat it with a knife and fork unless you want people to think youve just rolled in from the 19th century. All you can do is grab it in one hand and smoosh it into your mouth. Then attempt a sort of biting, tearing thing, which may involve a certain amount of desperate guzzling if the piece youre eating is disintegrating.

Its the great leveller of food get any group of people around a few boxes of pizza and scenes of animalistic depravity immediately ensue.

Tip: Tuck a napkin or some kind of drop-sheet into your collar, one that preferably reaches the floor. If youre on a date, try and turn the whole exercise into a seductive dance.

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