Nature Walk: Guilty Pleasure

5 years ago

I went for a walk today....
I have to be thankful for this BEAUTIFUL weather.
Seeing it is March in Wisconsin, the temperature should NOT be nearly as HOT as it has been.
But with seeing all the animals and blooming flowers or budding trees...
There was a sense of dread, not dread, but sadness.

I couldn`t help but feel guilty.
How could I be outside having such a wonderful walk on a beautiful day?!?!
I try to stop myself from feeling guilty & sad, and well it eventually overcame me.
Sad as it is to say.
For a few reasons....
1. knowing where my man was and what he currently was doing
2. for enjoying myself as much as I was
3. being alone in my walk, when I much rather he was in my company
and for numerous other reasons as well.

Now I know it is NOT right to want to lock myself in the house & forbid myself ANY life pleasures while my man is down, but fighting that feeling is a bit hard!
I find myself from time to time really battling those urges to punish myself with it is not needed.
It is hard being a Wisconsin Prison Wife... I find myself without a BIG support system.
I can`t lie, I wish I had someone to actually rely on, unfortunately I learned early in life MOST people can NOT be trusted.
The problem I have is I rely on my man, he is everything to me & I 100% put my trust in him.
My life has been destroyed & I have slowly been trying to put the pieces together after he was ripped from here.
NOT anyone will do, I want him! :)
I don`t even want a close girl friend, I`ve been through that drama... that`s a different story!!!!

I do, even after 2 years now....
WISH and pray that he will return home safely to me...
physically & mentally intact!
I`m hoping it is sooner rather than later, but I guess we`ll have to play it by ear. :(

Guess this is a bit dreary... sorry about that!
It`s getting a little late & I have been dwelling on my thoughts and feelings from today.
Overall it was a nice walk, there was beautiful weather and tons of great nature wonders goings on! I snapped all of these pictures while I was out. The only thing that could have made it better was if my man was with me :). I miss you baby!

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