Breathing may lead to cancer

5 years ago

Breathing causes cancer? That`s what scientists have discovered a few weeks ago. Breathing, once considered a natural process, is said to cause stress in the lungs, "directly leading to all sorts of bloody cancers! this according to Dr. Sam Adams Pilsner, chair of the "Loudly Harumphs At Splendid Ideas" department at Massachusetts General Hospital.

"A laymen will probably deny this fact to their dying days, but unfortunately, it is true," said Prof. Douglas Brothingham at the National Institute of health and Pseudoscience. "Important research done under my patronage shows that so-called "free radicals" degrade cellular integrity at an increasing rate with increasing proximity to oxygen molecules. It doesn`t take a rocket surgeon to figure out that the most oxygen in the human body is contained in the lungs. This degradation is compounded (annually @ 3.185%) by the act of inhalation. Therefore, the less one breathes, the less chance one has of getting cancer. "

Methods of Prevention
With the recent discovery of oxygen`s carcinogenic properties, top level scientists with the aid of traditional witch doctors have published an article in the reputable Lancet magazine.

Although mostly unproven at the moment, the World Health Organization is already rolling out education programs in all developing countries including The United States of America to warn of the dangers and promote measures of prevention.

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